Thank you SOOOOO much, Kim ! You have no idea how much it means for me to hear you say that...THANK YOU !

So...the talk...

It didn't go as I had hoped, but do these types of "talks" ever do???

I guess the reality of the sitch REALLY hit me......that I may very well lose my home ......This little house was my dream home......everything is in its place because I put it there.....everything was put in here with all my love.....I'm sure you all understand what I mean -- I made this house our home...MY home.

H always said that no matter what, he would let me and the boys stay here.....he is still saying this.....he said that he will continue to provide the boys and me with our "standard of living"...he will pay the mortgage, the utilities, everything for the boys and me, any and all other bills...but he will not give me half of what's legally mine that's in the bank accounts. His exact words were, "That's not fair! You'd get to keep saving your half of the money while mine just goes down further and further! NOPE...You'd better talk to a lawyer because that's not right, and I'm not doing it!"

What I had suggested before his outburst was that he let me and the boys stay in the house and continue to pay for everything, and if he agreed to do this, then I wouldn't ask for anything more from him. No child support, no alimony, nothing. Then when I finish school and am able to work and support myself, we could get together again and discuss the house -- do we want to sell or who's going to buy out who -- and child support........H was fine with ALL of this even after explaining to him that this could take another few years.....but it's when I brought up the money accounts that he changed....just what I was afraid of.

I've talked with my family about this and have received different opinions. My parents say to just start with a clean slate -- sell everything, pay off everything (house, truck, and one credit card), then split it all 50/50. One of my sisters says that H should still pay for me and the boys to live here, and that I still get half of what's ours, no matter what. The other two kind of gave me a variation of them combined .

This feels like one HUGE mess....or maybe it's just my head . Anyhow, I will be contacting an ATTY on Monday to see what he/she has to say -- what I am entitled to and what is reasonable for me to ask of H.

BTW, H said HE talked to one already, and the lawyer told him to "work it out" because I will get half of everything....during the whole discussion, H was trying to get me to change my mind -- he was flirting, trying to touch me, hug me, you name it.

Ok...I'm exhausted...The boys and I went to visit family down in Merced today (4 hour drive there and back ). S9 and S6 are in bed now, but S1 is still awake! Gotta get him to bed NOW !

Thanks for listening, and obviously I haven't "moved" yet. I will as soon as I feel more hopeful....UGH....I'm REALLY tired and in a mood tonight .

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage