Still trying....

[ValerieA]

Hello, everyone .

D -- You're the greatest ! You're just too funny, and you always manage to bring more smiles into my day !

Scotti -- Your welcome ! Actually, I can't take all the credit. Many on this board are responsible for inspiring me into making this decision for myself. I follow many sitches and have found my way a little in each and every one of them. To me, it truly is all about GAL and doing for YOU .

I think I get what you're saying about postpartum depression. I honestly don't think that I am, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to talk with my doctor about it. Thanks, Scotti , and I don't feel you're pointing any fingers at all. Believe me, I can tell when somebody really is .

Hopeful -- Thank you so much. This is a BIG decision. One of the BIGGEST I've ever had to make. It's not easy to say the least....but it's right. It's right for me. Sometimes I doubt myself, and I don't feel very strong because of it, but I know this is the way. I think that doubt is just a fear. The fear I've had for a long time of being alone...of being without someone...but I'm slowly overcoming it. Little by little.

BeingMe -- I'm very sorry to hear that you had to endure such a R. I know what kind of he** I've been through, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like to also have had the physical part in there, too.

Bravo, BeingMe. I applaud you for having the strength and courage to get out of that M. You are indeed a very strong woman.

You are so right about their crying and apologies. Their promises of not ever doing and/or saying the bad things again...and again...and again. I have finally reached that point where it all means nothing to me anymore...where I just don't believe him. Period.

Right again about my boys. I know they had to have heard H when he would go off on me, so I'm sure they heard their mother being called a b**** many, many times. Sometimes they don't listen to me very well, and I can see a little bit of attitude in them when I tell them to straighten up. With H out of the house these past 2 months, it has been somewhat easier......I certainly do not want my sons to treat their Ws or GFs the way their father has me, his mother, and even his sister. It's very sad....any female who gets to him is just a b**** or a stupid, f***ing idiot....I just don't get it. He REALLY needs help, and hopefully, he can someday see that.

Thanks again to each and every one of you . I will stick to my guns, I will follow my gut feeling, and I will listen to my heart because I know it's right.

Alrighty then.....Today is the baby's birthday ! He is now S1 ! He will be going for his first haircut this afternoon -- oh boy ! That should be fun !

Busy weekend ahead. Tomorrow my family is getting together to celebrate S6 and S1's birthdays then on Sunday it will be H's family. I was originally going to have one big party, but the more H and I talked about it, the more we thought this would be the best way. We'd like to avoid any and all possible "drama" between the two families . Lord knows I've had enough .

Again, I thank you all for the TREMENDOUS amount of support you give me . You are all TERRIFIC people ! Have a great weekend!

Thanks for listening.

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."