Still trying....

[BeingMe]

JV, with my first M, I just knew when it was over, after giving my XH so many chances. He, too, was abusive, physically and emotionally. However, I am a strong person, and after 3 years of giving him many chances, decided, enough was enough. I also got the begging, and promises of change, but nothing could dissuade me. It is the best thing I have ever done. Abusers never change, unless they actively seek to change with professional help. They destroy any respect, and love you have and then think that a few kind words and tears are going to turn you into mush, when you in actuality have finally seen the light.

If you have truly decided it is over, then stick to your guns. Your children will not benefit from growing up with their father disrespecting their mother to the level of abuse. Perhaps, once you are D'ed, he may find the help he needs, and then you can re-evaluate if you want, although that did not happen in my case.

Although my present H has put me through a lot, I know that he is a good man who temporarily lost his way. We have had 20 mostly good years, so I feel he deserves a second chance.

So, my advice, stick with what your gut is telling you. Ultimately, you only have yourself to rely on. Family and friends are great, but they are not the ones that have to finally live with the decision.

Good luck, whatever path you take.