Still trying....

[DonH]

Hmmm.....I thought DBing was about taking a good look at yourself and finding the ways and means of improving your life FIRST....changing yourself for the better....changing it for YOU -- NOT for your spouse

Ding, Ding, Ding!!!!

JV wins the prize!! You hit the nail on the head!! I have nothing more to say...

DMF

---

That is all well and good but why did Michelle write the book? What is the reason for DB and DR? Why does the book exist? Is it a self help make yourself better book and if oh by the way you save your marriage too - well good for you or is the goal to save your marriage and the way to do that is by DBing. I really have to say that it would seem that the origional goal has been exchanged here. The goal is to save your marriage. Changing and saving you is a step in the overall goal - not the goal itself. Again, if the methods work for you to change yourself and you want to stop there it is no different than using the methods to improve work relationships or relationships with your family or friends. If you use the book for these things as well - all the more power to you. Let's just not forget what the author's goal is and that is to bust a divorce. After you change yourself and employ the LRT there are many more steps that you then have to follow. You start with a beginners mind, you ask for what you want, you monitor the results, etc. For good or bad, it is clear that the LRT has worked but for whatever reason some people then chose not to follow the rest of the steps to go onto actuallty DB. Let me be clear again that I can't say these people are wrong, but let's at least be honest with ourselves here. If we were truly DBing in the actual sense of that term we'd now be on to the rest of the steps.