Quote:

Why after all of this time and all of this hard work would you have won only to give back the prize?

Don,

First of all, DBing is about making changes in yourself to make YOU a better person. The idea I believe, and I can only speak for myself, is that by becoming a better person, (more confident etc., a 180 from the person that your spouse ran away from) you make yourself more attractive to that person. Thus they realize what they are missing and want to come back. In some cases, that does indeed happen.

However, in other cases, namely mine and now it looks like maybe in JV's (just my opinion JV, I would never profess to speak on your behalf) the spouse left behind has truly moved on. In my case, I think that my XW is now (after almost a year since starting the affair) second guessing herself. But I have COMPLETELY changed mentally, physically and emotionally, and I feel beter for it. When I see her, she's not the same woman who I fell in love with. It's not a matter of forgiving her or not, it's just that there is a feeling of "It's not worth it anymore...move on"

If you get a chance, please read JV's last few threads, it'll take you awhile!! ,(that's for you JV, and I hope you're OK with me gettin' all up in your business) and I think you'll understand why I'm not surprised that she is at this point in the process.

But Don, welcome aboard!! Do you have a thread established that all of the JV followers can check out?

DMF