MIL arrived about 3pm to pick up the baby. H arrived shortly after from picking up S9 and S5 from school. We chatted for a bit until I went to put the baby's things into MIL's car for her.
I then went to my truck to get the carseat out, and what do I see?.....Azaleas sitting on my center console with a card addressed to "XXXXXXX" (me). I knew who put them there...obviously. I didn't bring them inside just yet because I didn't feel like hearing MIL say, "Oh, how pretty! Where did they come from?!"......just didn't feel like going there.
Soooo.....after everyone left, I brought them inside. By the looks of them, they have been sitting in the truck for at least a couple of hours . I watered them then I read the card.
It reads:"From Here To There.......I think about you often and wanted to make sure you know."
The handwritten note reads:
XXXXXXX,
I just wanted to try to express what is going through my mind. I don't know if this is the right way to go about it but here I go.
You are constantly on my mind. I f***ed up and it's up to me to fix it and find my way back. It's up to me to relight the flame.
I feel so lost and at times I feel like a lost cause. But I am trying. I don't know what will happen but I hope in the end we are both happy. We deserve it. You especially do.
You are an amazing person. You have a huge heart and you are a great mom. I mean it. Nobody's perfect. Especially me.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I am always thinking of you and wish you a good weekend. Hope you win if you gamble. Hope you have lots of fun. You deserve it.
Love,
XXXXX (H)
........In the past, finding those flowers in my truck like that would've had me floating on cloud nine.....Today, nothing. Not even a little smile......and reading H's words would've had me in tears....but again, nothing.....(sigh)....Don't misunderstand me -- I really do appreciate them. That was very kind, thoughtful, and sweet of H to do.....but if there are certain feelings he's trying to recapture, they're just not there anymore. Not for me.
Well, I'm off now. I'm heading up to Lake Tahoe for the weekend. My parents invited my sisters, their Hs, and me to come up -- they've got a timeshare there. Should be lots of fun!
Have a great one, everybody!! Thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
. I watered them then I read the card.
