Still trying....

[ValerieA]

Hello and thank you, ladies!

I would've loved to let H come home, but I know he's not ready. I can't let him move back home even though he offered because it has to be when H WANTS to. Otherwise, he'll be here and things will just be miserable for the both of us.

The ultimatum.....well what's done is done, and I can't undo it now. If I don't stick with it then I will have lost all credibility. I have to stick to my guns to let H know I'm serious, and I am.

H is a good dad, and he is spending much more time with S9 and S5, but not a whole lot of time with the baby still....but believe me, I WILL make sure that H will have him, too, on his days.

Ok, the job issue again -- cally, I know this. I always have, and I understand that you're not taking sides here.....but H is VERY wishy-washy with this subject himself. He will tell me he DOESN'T want me to work, and he just told me this AGAIN last night....and then money issues will come up....then the resentment comes to light again. So, yes, without a doubt, this is a BIG issue with us, and I've already said that I will go back to work and/or school in another year or two when the baby's older.

If I sound stubborn about it....well I'm sure I am because I get upset and aggravated when he tells me one thing then says another....and again, H told me last night that HE DOES NOT want me to work....but you know what? I'm going to do it for MYSELF in another year or two.

H told me that he's going to be taking a refinery technician training course in about 3 weeks, and it will last for 4 months. He wants to do this to be able to have a stable career and to have a job that actually has benefits. The two jobs he's had in the past 10 years only gave H medical benefits and nothing more.

When he told me this, I told him that this is GREAT, and I am VERY proud of him! H said he's doing it for me and the boys, and I told him that's nice, but do it for HIMSELF. I want H to do something for him so he can be proud of himself. He's taking a class to learn something new, and I told him he should be sooo proud of that! I am!

About his mom -- she was a SAHM until H's dad left, then she HAD to find work because...well...he was a deadbeat dad. I don't know what the laws are in MI, but she never pursued child support or anything. It doesn't seem to matter now though.

Alright. H called me last night after 2am , and we spoke for about an hour. I'll post later about it.

Thanks for listening.

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."