JV That is great that you have come to an agreement.
I really don't think it will be a good thing to hold him to this ultimatum. This is a decision that has to come from him and within his heart. If you force it I believe it will only lead to more anger and resentment on his end.
One thing I have noticed through this separation is that your husband seems to be a GREAT dad. He is taking the kid's and been responsible. He is taking them places and doing things with them. Even spending money on them by taking them places.LOL
One thing I have noticed in your posts is that your husband has a strong desire for you to work. I know the things he says to you is wrong for sure. But JV this seems to be a strong wish of his. Some guys just have this two working spouse expectation. I have also noticed in your posts that he has offfered to watch the kid's while you work. He is also showing what a great job he can do with them and that he enjoys doing it and being with them. It just seems like this must be a big issue you guys fight about a lot. It also seems like one you are very stubborn about and adamant about not doing. I am not siding against you. Just saying this may be something you need to think about and reread some of your posts and think about how negative you may come across to him when this is a strong wish of his. He just feel like you are not listening or you don't care. It may not be he didn't want the baby but that he just was a little upset and taken back at first because that was right at the time you were going to start working. He may feel like there is this huge burden that he has to do all the supporting. Maybe that is why he rebels and goes out and does all the weird things he has been doing. Because deep down he has resentment. i also know the things he says to you about money is not right! He should be a lot more tactful with his words. But for someone with resentment about the wprk issue he may feel well here she is getting a manicure and pedicure and I am paying for that. Or she is out shopping for herself and I am paying for it. Or she wants to go out and buy a gift and I have to pay for it. Again JV not taking sides. Just trying to get you to really think about how he may be feeling because this is such a strong wish of his. I think there are a lot of men and women who feel the same. Because there are so many homes where both parents work.
