Love that Keith Urban song, everytime it comes on, I sing along with it.
Wrote a little country song myself just recently, here are the lyrics, if you wanna hear it, go to http://biglnk.com/listen and click on "There's A Whole Lot Of Hurt In A Country Bar".
When you left me, I was lost not knowin' what to do, all my time was spent on missing you. Had to find myself so I found myself in town, where there were crowds around.
Feelin' lonely, when I thought I heard a laugh or two come floatin' from across the avenue, from a country bar where a drink could be my friend, and escape the ghost of you.
So I slipped inside to slip away the hours that bind me, and while away my night time troubles 'till tomorrow's sorrows find me.
But every song that was sung was a song about me and you and every song broke my heart in two. Every song that I hear has me crying in my beer for you. Songs where broken hearts had love departed, sung to the strummin' of a sad guitar and there's a whole lot of hurt in a country bar.
Gave a glance watching couples do what couples do and watching all the dancers dancin' too with thoughts of me and you, all the things we used to do, while saying 'I love you'.
Right foot forward, best face on them and their best face toward the longing of their hearts to be in a new romance, but the tune they're dancin' to says love hasn't any chance
'Cause I heard the music tell me, tales of where our love had gone so wrong. Still here I choose to lose my sorrows 'till tomorrow's troubles find me here again...
Where every song that is sung is a song about me and you and every song goes ahead and breaks my heart in two. Every song that I hear has me cry another tear for you. Songs from broken hearts and love departed, sung to the strummin' of a sad guitar and there's a whole lot of hurt in a country bar.
Thanks NY. I hope I can get that link to work when I get to a computer with a sound card (stupid work computers have nothing useful installed on them). It would be great to hear those lyrics with music.
Here's my "pick-me-up" list of favorite things. Just thinking about them does chase away my latest "down" feelings. No particular order.
1) Snuggled in a warm bed reading a good book, then you realize that you don't remember the last page because you've been dozing off.
2) Coming home after work and the kids drop what they are doing to run up and give me a hug.
3) That flash of green and a hint of silver as a walleye gets close to the surface and you realize what you've caught.
4) The first mouthful of foam from the first Guinness of the weekend.
5) The smile on D9's face as she runs the 100 meter dash. The smile on S6's face as he hits a baseball.
6) Recess Peanut Butter Cups
7) The smooth lines of a P-51 Mustang and the stubby chunky profile of an F4F Wildcat.
8) That first view of a lake as you crest a hill or cross the dam. Blue-green water to the horizon with shadows from the clouds sprinkled across the surface.
9) The Big Lebowski
10) Thunderstorm and tornado warnings
Anyone else please feel free to add to the list. Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Well S6 said OM's name about half a dozen times this weekend.
Just wondering what you wife would say if she heard S6 saying the same sort of things about OW, in reference to you? Things seem to be stuck for you because it is where W wants hem to be. But she doesn’t want to cut the cord. That, and her crying, tells me she wants to hang on to you. If she knows you are leaving her, how do you think she will respond?
Some people are afraid to move on and for good reason. Doing so could cement a divorce. But I think it depends on the people. In your case, and mine, I think our wives really want a certain type of marriage, to us, but their issues prevent this as much as our actions do. My wife seems to understand that I cannot continue as we have and is not willing to talk and work on the relationship. Things have warmed up during the last two weeks. But I had to drop the bomb myself before it got her attention.
Thanks for stopping by again Cobra. You keep my thinking cap on, which is a good thing.
If she knows you are leaving her, how do you think she will respond?
I could see W going any number of ways. Mostly away from me but that's probably just fear and insecrurity talking. So honestly I don't know what affect it could have other than probably shaking things up and obviously I'm not a boat rocker. But every day I get closer and closer to rocking the boat (see journaling below).
Journaling:
Personally I enjoyed the Thanksgiving weekend. It was by far nothing like a traditional T-day for my entire family. My mom was in the hospital recovering from her knee replacement so much of my free time was spent visiting her. The big traditional family gathering with mom's side of the family was canceled due to mom's surgery and my cousin's latest impending childbirth at any moment. So my B and SIL had a small T-day gathering at their place with just them, S6, D9 and me. We had a great time.
Friday morning I transfered the kids to W for the next few days and then watched the Huskers finally play football for once against the CU Buffalos. I also got some much needed chores done around the house taking advantage of being kid free for a few days. I thought about putting up x-mas lights on the house but S6 wanted me to wait so he could be around to help. So now I'll be risking life and limb to get the lights up in arctic weather but at least I'll have excellent help.
Saturday was more work around the house and yard. I took the evening shift of staying with mom. We watched lots of football. Finally left the hospital around 9 pm and needed to get something to eat. I also wanted to watch one of the football games that wasn't on regular tv so I stopped in a sportsbar. After eating my chef salad (had to get some veggies into me) and downing a brew or two, I noticed a couple attractive women playing pool. I felt a little "pervie" but after a while I deciphered these two were alone and not waiting for their "men" to arrive. I casually strolled over and played a little pool on the table next to them and struck up a convo with them. They were nice and challenged me to a game of 8-ball. They killed me (I'm way rusty at pool after a 20 year layoff). I could tell they were just being polite to me so I excused myself and headed home.
This was a huge step for me because I've never done anything like this ever. I was scared sh*tless but I figured WTF, I'm all DB'ed up. I could tell they were having a girls night out and weren't interested in playing the guy-girl game (or they just weren't interested in me) but it was fun to just pretend I was in a movie or something and plot out my strategy and approach some attractive women with zero expectations other than to try something new. So what if they might reject me? I've had the biggest rejection of my life and I've lived through that. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Sunday I invited my current and former work friends to visit my favorite museum. We had a good time. After taking them home I headed out to meet W for a kid swap. While driving there I realized I felt numb. Not sad. Not happy. Just neutral about having to drive 45 minutes to get my kids for the upcoming week. Just part of the normal routine now.
So after my little baptism into approaching women, I'm actively looking for other ways to possibly meet women. I'm not going to go out sniffing. I just want to put myself in more situations where if I see someone interesting, I'll ask them to go for coffee or dinner sometime. Quite a paradigm shift for the worlds biggest introvert.
It would seem that I'm in the minority here on the BB because I'm feeling a good PMA.
A quick hit and run post. Had a disturbing dream this morning so I want to jot something down so I can quit thinking about it and move on. I would have overslept big time if it wasn't for this dream b/c it woke me up.
In the dream I was going to a play or a musical in a very small town. I saw a couple people that I know from around my little home town and I was talking to them. I usually just say "hi" to those kinds of people but in the dream I was actually having a convo with them asking about their families and such. They all knew about my sitch and were neutral about it. Understandable. The doors to the theatre opened up and the crowd started to file in. Then in the crowd I saw W with a different OM! I don't know who the guy was. Just some handsome well dressed blond guy with his arm around her. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I woke up.
Hey, be nice to your subconscious! It woke you up so you didn't oversleep.
I rarely remember my dreams and only had one dream with Om in it until this weekend, when I had some weird dream where W was with Om on the back of a rental truck or maybe a stagecoach (same difference, right?). I went up to talk to them and was not happy to be there but not angry, either.
I think it means I'm moving on, or they're moving on, or we're moving on. Back to the Old West.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
FYI, on the SSM board, the poster Blackfoot has a very interesting perspective on relationships and what entices women. If you’re looking around, some of his thoughts might be interesting to you as you get back into the swing of things.
ThatGuy, Wow, and kudos to you!!! I am really impressed by your 'pool playing abilities'. Did this interaction with these girls make you feel good, I was wondering? It brought something out that Ithought I would share. I have spent the last 15 years of my life either married and monogomous, or single and celibate. I have only been with 2 men in 15 years. I know all of this divorce stuff sucks, but I remember one thing I considered when I got married, and that was that I never would be able to kiss anyone else or ml to anyone else for as long as I was with my husband. That was the rule and an acceptable part of being married. However, there have been times in my married life where I have thought about some other person, i.e., I wonder what it would be like to kiss that person, etc. I would NEVER do it, I never did it and I don't regret not, but still the thought is there. And here I am today, and if my husband doesnt come back to me, which I hope of course that he does, but if he doesn't, then I will have that opportunity. And as long as I don't remarry or commit again to a monogomous relationship in whatever form, well then I get to kiss whoever I please and won't be breaking any rules.
But every day I get closer and closer to rocking the boat (see journaling below).
