Trying to make a quick post to sum up the weekend.
It was my birthday on Saturday. Tried to make little of it but D9 and S6 wouldn't let me ignore the day. D9 made surprise brownies and left the bowl for me to lick. Yum. With the help of S6 there were homemade birthday signs posted all over the house. No official gift from W but there were some nice gifts from "the kids".
Never saw W all day but she did call 3 times and wished me a happy b-day every time. More on this later.
Sunday the kids and I went to my mom's for a family gathering. My B and SIL were there and W dropped by too. We all had a nice time.
The original plan was for W to drive back to town and stay at the house since she was coming to town Monday morning anyway. But when it was time to leave my mom's and come back home, W said she thought we would have left earlier and she hadn't packed anything yet, so she desided to stay at her place and drive into town in the morning. I half expected something like that so I acted like it was perfectly okay. Inside I was little disappointed. I said something like, "Oh, that's too bad. I understand. See you in the morning." Then I asked W "what was wrong" b/c she had a concerned look in her eyes. She just re-explained her reasoning for not staying at the house. Minutes later as we were rounding up the kids to leave, I got a neck crunching hug from W. After the kids and I had been homeward bound for a few miles we get a text from W - "I luv u all".
Lately, most every time I talk to W (in person or on the phone) she usually slips in a description of what she has done the night and/or day before. It always involves something free of OM. I'm not sure what to think of this. I believe about 3/4 of what she tells me, but it could all be true. She usually very peppy and up beat when I talk to her. She laughs at all of my dumb jokes and remarks.
If I didn't know better I'd think that she is trying very hard to find some "feelings" for me and "forget" about OM. I very rarely display any feelings toward her other than what friends would show toward each other. Maybe a back rub when she complains of a stiff back, or buying her lunch, or complimenting her latest attempt at a new hairstyle, etc. She is confused by my minimal displays of affection or she just plays dumb by asking if it's okay if she spends the day with kids, or is it okay to stop by the house and eat supper with us.
W seems to cozy up to me only just so much then gets spooked and runs back to her place. Is it still too hard for her to admit that she might want to come back? Is she waiting for me to show a more "positive" sign that I still have feelings for her? I know it must be hard for her to hang around my immediate family. She will not show her face to any other of my relatives. In the past when I felt we were at this same stage, I have tried to initiate some kind of date or outing with just the two of us. This time I'm planning on staying cool and let her take the initiative. Not sure if this is the right thing to do?
W has hinted at least twice that she'd like to see that new exorcism movie. Is this her way of telling me what to do? It's pretty much what her SOP has been since we started dating 20 years ago. Never ask directly. If I know and care enough about her I'll catch the hint and make the move. I quit picking up these hints many years ago, or actually I would see the hint but then shoot it down with some lame excuse. Still not sure what is the right thing to do? Any former WA's out there that could give me a clue?
With the help of S6 there were homemade birthday signs posted all over the house. No official gift from W but there were some nice gifts from "the kids".
