Last Friday I met with my C. She and I both agree that I'm in a seemingly endless limbo land with W. C pointed out that W and I treat each other like we are already D. A week or so ago I had laid my cards on the table and told W where I am in the R. That I now know I can live my life on my own and can be a happy single dad, but still would like to try to work to create a happy M. C is bothered by the fact that W hasn't reciprocated and told me anything about her current place in the R. So C suggested that I have a serious nonpressuring talk with W and to ask her to share how she looks at our current R.
Back when I laid down my cards I felt that W wanted me to ask her to do the same. I wimped out and couldn't ask b/c I felt that I wouldn't like what I would hear. Now I don't know what I would hear anymore. If I was betting the farm I'd say she wants to explore life more with OM. Her current behavoir though, says she's still confused and doesn't want to lose me, or maybe she's even leaning toward my side of the fence. (Wishful thinking??) We've been at this stage a dozen times over the past few months so it's nothing new and never led to a better R.
Would asking W to come clean and evaluate her current position, in a matter of fact way that kept out emotions and pressure, be bad DBing? It most likely will be interpreted as pursuit or pressure, but I'm tired of being the dog whisperer and trying to decipher every unspoken signal that she sends. It's been months since any kind of temperature check by me. Maybe by asking/communicating I'll have a better understanding of where to go next. Does W want me to pursue or back off or stay the coarse? Talking about it would be a 180 for us. If you can't tell...I want to talk about the R with her.
