My LDH falls into this pattern as well...if I act "as if" everything is ok, even though there's a BIG problem....he assumes I am ok becuase he's ok and that everything is fine. Of course you love her, and it's not suprising you want to meet her needs to make her happy....don't stop doing that. But also, don't continue to let your own needs go unaddressed, that only leads to resentment (as you know)....then that resentment can lead to distancing, that distance in turn can cause you to push her away unintentionally, it's a vicious cycle......so don't let your needs go unaddressed. Perhaps she won't meet them immediately, perhaps it will take time reinforcing what you tell her you need (don't wait for you to break down to tell her, do it when you are calm and not upset).....but IMPO acting "as if" everything is ok doesn't help.
