I've been here before but it's been a while. I'm the low-desire spouse, and it's given us a lot of hardship, but we are not giving up. I had my doctor take some tests to rule out a thyroid condition, and even stopped taking my birth control pill for a couple of months to see if it might be the culprit, but no luck. Now my doctor has prescribed me the antidepressant Wellbutrin XL - I've been taking it for a couple of days now but nothing's changed yet... I know it can take several weeks for the full effect to kick in, but I would love to know if anyone here has taken this drug, or their partner has, and if it helped any.
I took Weelbutrin for about a yr and I feel it helped with depression --- it may have helped my sex drive in an indirect way in that my O's were more intense.
Hello, I am brand new to the board. Life is really sucking for me at this time. I am the LDW, my husband and I have been married to 3 1/2 years but been together for 11 1/2 years. He has been telling me for years that I am not affectionate, loving or giving of myself. I kept saying I would change but I didn't know how. I had a hysterectomy at 27 and have been of Zoloft for about 5 years. Well....he has finally had enough. He told me he couldn't live like this anymore. I can't believe it has come to this.....we aren't separated YET but I don't think it's going to be long before we are. I went to my primary DR on Wednesday and she sent me to the hospital for a psych eval. They put me on Wellbutrin and I pray it works. I am starting therapy next week, I have read 2 books in the past 2 days. I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry you are having trouble but glad you are here and read some books. Please name the books and what you got out of them. Main points will do.
I would like to invite you to start a new thread and kind of post your relationship resume. The more we know (we have heard it all and you can't shock us) the more help you will get.
To post your own thread, go back to the page where all of the Sex Starved Threads are listed and near the top and to the left of the thread field is a symbol with the word "post" Click there. I would do it for you but then my name will apear next to the name/topic of the thread.
How about? Lots of good people here. Week ends are a little slow sometimes but you could get the ball rolling by starting a thread, topic that is important to you
not to second guess your doctor but what the heck,
When your doctor ruled out thyroid did he/she share the results with you. My W's doctor said she was normal based on the lab results (TSH of 4.5ish). He suggested that we see a psycologist and try wellbutrin, not for depression but for the possible libido improvments. The psycologist thought that welbutrin strictly for libedo wasn't a great idea.
When we looked into the thyroid tests, the lab said her results were in the normal range, and that was egnough for her doctor to say she was normal. We went to an endocrinologist (see my previous posts), he said that it is within normal range BUT my W had symptoms of hypothyroid. And we should treat the symptoms not the lab numbers. She has been on the tyroid medication for 4-5 months now and the results are DRAMATIC.
Get your test reesults and IF you feel you have the symptoms, find an endocrinologist.
One of the amazon reviewers (a doctor) backed up what you've said about thyroid-- that the tests don't always point to the problem:
Quote: Dr.Richard Shames and his wife, Karilee, who is a skilled nurse,have written a book that has the potential to help millions of people feel better. As a practitioner of medicine working at the Preventive Medical Center in San Rafael, California, I have been using some of the philosophy and techniques that I learned directly from Dr. Shames to help many patients. These patients suffer from the most common symptoms such as: fatigue, depression, weight gain, insomnia, headaches, joint and muscle pain, memory loss, frequent colds and viruses, cold hands and feet etc. Previously I was at a loss to help these people and could only tell them that there was nothing "wrong" with them and that their problems were not "medical" at all. It turns out that I, along with most medical practitioners, were victims of our own dogma. In reality, when it comes to thyroid disorders, many people have so-called "normal" tests, and yet when given thyroid hormone, their quality of life improves dramatically. I am not speaking of a short term placebo response, that we see frequently with any healing intervention. Many of my patients get better and stay that way, simply from taking thyroid hormone that no "well trained" medical practitioner would dare give them, because their tests were "normal". Fortunately, with this book, the Shames family has broken that taboo and the genie is out of the bottle at last. This book is directed and designed for the health consumer and it will help to empower them to demand the treatments they are entitled to receive. It is organized as a step by step program to help the health consumer understand the nature of the problem they may be facing and what the potential solutions are. The reader is educated at each step and encouraged to take more control over their own health care. While many Physicians encourage the mystique of the "all knowing" omnipotent Doctor, the Shames's are completely committed to breaking down that power relationship in their work. This book goes a long way to making the health consumer a more equal partner. I was particularly glad to see the emphasis on women's health issues and the encouragement of women to ask for more assistance with the problems of mid-life that are so often simply dismissed as "oh well, that's menopause for you". Women have been the victim of a patriarchal health system for too long and this book is one of many that helps women patients get the medical care they are entitled to.
The issue of thyroid dysfunction is brought down to earth in this book and the reader is given a wide range of options to try. Rather than simply accepting the divine judgment that "your thyroid is normal according to the tests", the patient has several choices, if her/his symptoms are interfering with their life. They can ask for more tests, as the simple basic thyroid tests do not necessarily have all the information needed. Particularly they can request that their thyroid antibodies be checked. I have seen many patients, who responded magnificently to thyroid medication, when their only abnormal result was high levels of these antibodies. Of course, conventional medical dogma denies this possibility and will only treat people who have a TSH level above 5. Even if all the tests are normal, this book encourages the patient to ask for a trial of thyroid hormone treatment. I can assure you that many people will improve with this simple intervention and there is no risk if one if carefully monitored. Finally, if the standard thyroid treatment fails to improve things, there are other types of thyroid hormones that might help, including the often ridiculed natural thyroid. Dr. Shames reports on many cases of people who responded far better to combinations of T4 and T3 hormone, rather than the standard T4 treatment alone. As with all who challenge the conventional dogma, I am sure there will be those who criticize this new approach. Remember anyone who takes on the established medical dogma will be critiqued severely, but often these pioneers turn out to be correct. I believe that Dr. Shames' view will turn out to be correct in the end. The tyranny of the "normal" thyroid test will be broken and there will be a new paradigm developed to explain why so many people get better with thyroid hormone supplements. While you may not find everything in this book to your liking, there were parts that I did not agree with, the overall message and thrust of this book is one of liberation and empowerment for so many women and men who are not being helped by modern medicine today.
If you or someone you care about does not feel well, from the symptoms mentioned above, you owe it to yourself to try the program recommended in this book. Of course there is no guarantee for success, but there is no risk to you if it is done with the guidance of a caring practitioner and the potential reward is nothing less than a return to a vibrant healthy life. Rich and Karilee Shames deserve our thanks and gratitude for bringing this issue out to the public and I truly hope that this new book helps spark an important reevaluation of this entire area of medicine. The fact that the forward was written by Dr. Nathan Becker, of the Department of Endocrinology at the University of California, San Francisco shows that this is not a fringe idea any longer. I also conduct research at UCSF and know that Dr. Becker is one of the leading authorities on thyroid dysfunction. I hope this review encourages more people to read this book and act on its important recommendations.
I dont know about all the details in that quote, but the fundimental issue of thyroid is properly diagnosing the problem. The TSH level tha most doctors consider normal is between 5 and .5 where the LOWER the number the more active your thyroid is. the problem is that this is a very broad range, plus if you look at the statistics behindd it the mean and average values are below 2.
this is important, you or your SO know your health beter than your doctor. Find a doctor that will treat the symptoms not the lab results. Go to an endocrinologist, and dont be afraid to tell him/her that you 'dont feel right' even if they tell you you look normal.
The effect on my W was dramatic in overall health, not just libedo. The part that I still dont understand (ok Im a guy, HD, and a ludite) is the feeling that if 'she really loved me she would make an effort... right?' and the resentment / frustration that this brought. She has told me that before being on the thyroid pills, she just didn't have the feeling of wanting. THe problem wasn't in her head, it was in her body.
I am going to have to read this book on Thyroid problems. My wife has the problem and it is being "treated". Might help me to look for other clues.
I also heard something on TV over the weekend. Some food show was touring a salt mine. They made the comment that during the 1920's, the salt companies starting adding iodine to salt. Why? Because their was an epidemic of Hypothyroidism in America. Could it be that this epidemic is comming back? Maybe because people are using less salt? Kind of a curious thing.
CeMar, I saw that show, too-- "Good Eats" with Alton Brown. We watch it ALL the time. I love that guy! We've switched to unrefined sea salt--lots of people have-- and it doesn't have iodine in it. I also wonder about that. Theoretically we still get lots of sale in processed foods, and that would likely be regular iodized salt.
