Fell down on the job

[InherJourney]

CN... I know the one sure way for my H to become HD is for me to retreat back into LD-ness, which is just not going to happen. I am simply amazed by how far you have come...hopefully H can meet you at this new place.

Why can't this be simple?

[Lillieperl]

Re cell phones

When my late husband had his leg amputated in 1996, he was in the hospital for three weeks. One night I was driving home around midnight from the hospital, a distance of about 50 miles, in the rain. We lived (and I still do) about 25 miles out in the country outside the city where the hospital was located. When I got in the car that night, I was so exhausted, rattled, distressed (he had had four surgeries, one each day, for a week, trying to save the leg-- the fifth surgery cut it off) that it didn't register on me that when I turned the car on, all of the panel lights came on and stayed on and that this was a bad thing.

I started driving. Halfway between the city limits and my house-- in the middle of outer fcuking boonie land-- all of the lights went out, panel lights and headlights. It was pouring down rain and I was driving 60 miles an hour with no headlights.

After a few minutes of this, I figured out that this was not very smart, so I pulled off at an exit. Nothing for many miles around-- no houses, no gas stations, no lights, no towns. I had two cell phones with me-- his and mine. Both batteries were dead.

I turned off the car-- of course, its battery was dead and I could not restart it, not that I could drive anyway with no lights. Finally someone came along and I flagged them down and called a friend who came and picked me up, drove me to my house, got my husband's pickup, drove back to the scene (round trip of ~20 miles), and towed my car to the yard of the people whose cell phone I had used. Didn't want to leave it on the highway-- not sure why-- seemed like a good idea at the time.

Lesson learned: I have never again let my cell phone get even close to being run down. I have a car charger and a home charger and use both of them.

Put your phone charger in the bathroom or next to where you do your makeup and plug it in every night when you brush your teeth. In the morning when you go in the kitchen, unplug it and put it in your purse and leave it there at all times, so you will know where it is. God forbid a thousand times you or someone's life should ever depend on that phone being operational and you can't find it or it is run down. You will never forgive yourself. You don't have to wear it at all times, or have the ringer on, if it bothers you-- just look at the screen and see if you have any missed calls or messages. End of lecture. xoxoxox

[cinemanymph]

IHJ & Lillie,

Thank you for the kind words. Those words of encouragement are what keep me on track.

I know the way back and it would be so easy just to go back down that LD path. It's so much easier when you don't care, so much easier when you don't need anything from anybody else, so much easier when you expectations are so low that it's impossible not to meet them. Easier is not better, though. I will not concede my progress for anyone and that includes my H. If I have to be HD in my relationship because my H doesn't understand the nature of my (former) disinterest in sex, then so be it. But I will not tolerate being punished for the rate of my sexual growth for very long. I have given H a fair taste of life with a HDW and he seemed to enjoy it. If he rejects that so he can punish me, then shame on him.

I know that general consensus is turnabout is fair play and my answer to that is that I gave as much as I had in me as often as I possibly could. It wasn't enough for H, but I never stopped trying to get it right.

[Scott1701]

Nymph,
I'd also suggest watching some episodes of "Red Green". Seriously. It's a Canadian comedy show about the foibles of men. One of their ongoing bits is "The Answer Segment" where they explore why men have trouble with those three words: "I Don't Know".

Scott
-Who, since he isn't quite handy or handsome, has come to the conclusion that is why he's not getting laid on a reliable schedule. (Ok that's speculation, but it's as good as any.)

[cinemanymph]

I love "Red Green" ! I am also into all manner of silly things. Monty Python, The Young Ones, Absolutely Fabulous, Get a Life, and Liquid Television to name a few.

[Scott1701]

Cool Nymph,
It's a fun show. My favorite segment is "The Possum Lodge Word Game".

Here's the man's pledge: "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."

Keep up the good work!

Scott

PS Hairdog you should try the man's pledge on your spouse sometime you're feeling brave. However you should probably do that while wearing knights armor.

[cinemanymph]

Scott said,

-Who, since he isn't quite handy or handsome, has come to the conclusion that is why he's not getting laid on a reliable schedule

Neither is Red Green, but I'll bet he doesn't have any problem getting women to notice him. Oysters schmoysters, laughter is one of most powerful aphrodiasiacs known to woman.