Fell down on the job

[cinemanymph]

I agree with you, grislen, I am sure that's what is going on.

Last night H was frisky and said to me, "I know you been jonesin for some. may as well give my hot sexy W some of what she's been jonesin for." He doesn't see any difference between his holding back so he can punish me and my former inability to have satisfying sex. He still thinks that I did not have stellar sex with him because I didn't want to. And he still thinks he is doing me a favor by having sex with me. How do I explain to him that I needed to grow before I could have desire for sex, for him? He doesn't buy that sexual abuse can stunt sexuality (my first abuse was at age 4). He thinks it's a crock that I needed so much time to mature sexually. If you take the 3 years we dated and the nearly 10 years we've been married, I would say 13 years to mature from age 4 would make me about 17, sexually. I'd say that's a reasonable amount of time to take for sexual maturity. Plus the fact that I have had, for many of the years I was trying to grow sexually,the adult responsibilities of raising a family and running a home.

On a different note, we were discussing the high price of gas and I mentioned that I read about a fella who owns a house and runs his supersized Hummer on hydrogen alone (if anyone is interested its called Angels Nest and there is a website where you can get more info). Anyway I was trying to explain how cool all this is and wow wouldn't it be great to have a house that was self sustaining and not ever have to buy gas for your car and H said the guy's just this rich freak. That was it, end of convo. The reason I bring this up is that many of our conversations go like this; I bring up a topic and if H doesn't want to talk about it or thinks it's stupid, he makes some disparaging remark and that is the end of talking about it. How do I get a dialog started in regards to sex when we can't even have a civil hypothetical conversation about alternative fuels?