Paul, have you read Dobson's book, Love Must Be Tough"?
NOP and I both highly recommend it. Here's a blurb:
"Is there one symptom common to troubled marriages that if left untreated hastens the drift toward divorce for millions of couples? Dr. James Dobson believes there is. That most serious indicator of potentical family breakup is disrespect.
Love Must Be Tough squarely addresses this often overlooked problem by carefully demonstrating that at the core of most marital conflicts, such as infidelity, alcoholism, spousal abuse, emotional distance, etc., lies a vicious kind of indifference that can sabotage a relationship.
Dr. Dobson believes that the source of this creeping separateness is usually one one partner, and he offers practical help for the other spouse who wants desperately to hold the marriage together. What emerges is a principle of loving toughness that offers the best chance of rekindling romantic interest and drawing the offending partner "back home.'
In fact, Dr. Dobson't strategy, proven successful in hundreds of documented cases, is uniquely valuable because, unlike other approaches, it often works without the willing cooperaton of the other person. It is thoughtful, practical, and can be helpful to almost anybody - singles, newlyweds, or long marrieds who want to build a relationship based on mutual respect and love."
I truly believe that NOP and I progressed as we did primarily *because* of the underlying respect we had for each other.
One of the reviews wrote, "This is a book on relationships, and how one must always maintain their dignity and confidence regardless of what the relationship throws his way, and how appeasement may force a relationship apart because lack of self-respect causes a lack of respect for you among others."
