Okay, I am typically not the one to state the obvious... but from your telling of the tale, it seems rather obvious that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is non-existant between you and your W, and the only thing present are power and control issues.
This is not a loving relationship. Love does not flourish in the absence of respect. It can't.
Paul, I'd do some very serious thinking, if I were you, on what 'respect' means to you... integrity, as hairdog put it... or 'self-respect'... and what it means to you to respect others. Define it. Own it. It is the basic foundation upon which we all operate. Yours, it seems, as well as hers, is all over the board, or completely non-existant.
I'd ask her to do the same and hold her to it. Until you two do this, at the very least... the War of the Closet is only going to escalate... scheduling anything is going to be yet another power game...
