Paul: Courtesy is all that you should be giving her right now. You can invite her to go to MC, a walk, or a talk, but I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole if I were you. Courtesy for the next week, and then work on talking with her. In the meantime, work on yourself some more.
I'm listening to the CD of "Secrets of a Passionate Marriage" and it provides some great insights. I bet your library has it.
Finally, this clothing thing. How about this: Go to the hardware store and get about 100 feet of 1/8 inch cable. Get two eyeloops for the ends. Run it through all of your clothing (up one sleeve, out the collar, up a pant leg, etc.) and then up and around the closet rod. Padlock the ends together. She still might be able to get a pair of cable cutters and take your clothing downstairs, but it'll make it a lot harder for her. And if she does, then go ahead and concede that the upstairs closet is hers. As a peace offering, perhaps a fish or a bit of boiled cauliflower in the pocket of one of her blazers or coats in the closet would let her know that, although she won the battle, the war is not over.
Wow...I just read that and it is really nasty. Let me know if it works.
