Well - the advantage of the commune would be that there would be other people there to call her on her behavior. Her behavior was simply unacceptable under ANY circumstances. I don't care if she was angry. I don't care if she was disappointed. I don't care if she thinks you are a deadbeat. I just don't see any reason to behave in that fashion.
This isn't directly about your SL. It is about basic respect and basic rules of engagement. I suggest that you not only put your clothes back but quietly and firmly tell her that she may not move your items without permission, that you will not tolerate those kind of displays in front of your children and that you expect her to curb her behavior or you will insist upon couseling for her. I suggest that you detach. Do your own thing and let her stew in the emotional mess that she has made.
Is that harsh? Maybe. I am speaking as a woman who was formerly married to someone who liked to dump his emotional baggage upon me over some weird mundane detail like a closet. I would be left a crying, quivering mass of confusion and I can't stand to see people do this crap because of that history.
