Quote: But the "Catch-22" that often happens is, men -- especially HD ones -- derive their confidence and their strength largely from how we feel about our sex life.
So it ends up: To improve your sex life, you have to become less "needy" and more attractive to your wife. In order to become more attractive to her, you have to become stronger and more confident. BUT TO BECOME STRONGER AND MORE CONFIDENT, YOU NEED TO HAVE A BETTER SEX LIFE!
I just don't agree with this. It strikes me as a huge copout, because you are allowing your sense of self to be determined *totally* by someone else. What happens to you if your wife (heaven forbid) dies? Did you have no confidence and strength prior to being in a relationship with a woman?
I'll be frank, I see this as weakness. A weakness that was there before, but which became more evident once you entered into a relationship. And it is a weakness that can *never* be addressed as long as it is couched as being your wife's fault.
I'm not faulting you, I have weaknesses as well, that have been exacerbated in my marriage. I am making attempts to deal with them. But I have to point the light at myself, figure out what and how to address them and then bring that into my relationship. If I keep believing that I am what I am today as a result of NOP, then I have given him a power over me that isn't rightfully his. And I would be taking the easy way out.
