Facts are stubborn things, and I have been spending years trying to avoid the evidence that has been accumulating, but the conclusion is unavoidable. I married the wrong woman.
The events of the last week have forced me to this admission. About a week ago, she removed all my clothes from the room we share (but don't sleep in) and put them all in the basement. She forced me out of the "family bed" and made me sleep on a cot, and after a few days, when I refused to sleep on the cot, she and the kids slept on the cot. She behaved angrily and rudely for over a week. What sparked all this? It was her lack of a walk-in closet. Our house doesn't have a walk-in closet. It never has had a walk-in closet. Two days ago, when I pleaded with her to give me an explanation, she again reiterated that I need to either agree to move or rehab the house so that she can have a walk-in closet. The a few more conditions were added. She wants more bedrooms, an attached two-car garage, and by the way, we don't have any friends in the neighborhood. I calmly responded that as it is we are not able to save any money, and that if we move to where she wants to move, I will have two more hours a day of commuting to work. And if we want more friends in the neighborhood, we could, for instance, be friendly. No response.
This episode is not enough to force me to arrive at the conclusion that I married the wrong woman. But she deliberately caused more than a week of misery for herself and the entire family for the reason she stated, then, after I agreed to consider looking at some houses, she hasn't mentioned a word about real estate. All of a sudden many other things have gained importance. But again, in a week, a month or a year, I will again be blamed for her "suffering" in our house, a house I consider a bit cramped but perfectly ample, should we ever decide to clean it and organize our belongings.
When I imagined being married, I imagined hours spent together discussing ideas, taking walks and meals together, going to movies and plays, and of course plenty of nookie. Most if not all of these things are I'm sure what many women also imagine taking place in a marriage. None of these things happen with us. I am exhorted to earn more money while staying away from work as much as possible. I am expected to immediately focus on whatever her mind wanders toward. Now that she is back to "normal" I am again bombarded with commands. I almost wish she would go back to being mad!
I spent the better part of last week planning my escape from my he11, but I have put escape plans on hold. Many of us have married the wrong person, and yet we stay married. Perhaps she is coming to a realization that I am not going to change sufficiently to her liking. She is sullen a lot of the time. Her rejections of me are heartless and brutal. I don't know if I want to spend my golden years with such a person. I know that if I had to choose today, I would not marry her.
