Re: ZB working in the dime store (Does that term date me?), Used to go to 3 of them when I was in 5th. grade. Haven't been to one recently, Oh, now they are dollar stores and have different company names. growing up and living with a mother on social security (dad died) ment we did not have much money. "dime" stores were "Big Time" places.
especially her mother, were highly critical of everything she did; she just never quite measured up. Wow! ZB, almost the same here. BB's mother made suggestions and BB took it as criticism. Sometimes my MIL was critical but she was a genuinely good person. That is why I said "Precieved Slight". Were they criticisms or just mothering traits? Your W's situation may be different.
Two ways to look at the slight. If it feels like a slight it is to the receiver but is the sender always responsible for how the reciever takes things. I think not but I do realise it can hurt. But that is another eggshell territory where you have to weigh too many comments to make much conversation worth the effort. I have often said something thinking it was helpful in some way only to have the words taken as being criticall. I have even been guilty.
When things are strained to begin with the notions of slights pops up way too often. In good R's these slights can be taken for what they were intended to be, information and small talk.
When I think about this and add in things like her admission to the C that she hates men and her unforgiving nature when someone “wrongs” her, I see that animals have always been her best friends. Always. Spoky ZB, some simalarities right on the money!
BB had a few good friends that lived on the block, but yes, pets were some of her best friends. BB even had an imaginary horse when she was with some friends.
The pets issues wirh BB was the main reason I never totally objected when she was getting more pets. I was hoping she would work through some of her childood wishes, issues. She is down from 13 to 8 and intecually talks about that is too many sometimes but never sees herself with fewer than 5 or 6 pets.
Its not that I don't like pets, its more BB will do a lot of things for the pets when I feel left out.
It's kind of some women that don't mind their H MBing as long as the woman is getting her "fill" (pun intended) and intimacy needs met.
BB had issues wither step dad and I can see where I kind of am in the same place. Her step dad was a good parent. Did not like some of the lazafair attitude / hands off practices some of the more liberal parents had, but he was not controlling. Babide too much, yes, but he brought a lot to the relationship when he married BB mom.
ZB, will your W ever get to see you are not like her male family members and quit associating their old behaviors to you? Is this an issue or am I relying on my experiences.
They say young people marry their opposite gender parent. Don't laugh. My D married a guy somewhat like me. Are you a substitute dad in her mind?
I am not saying everyone does this. BB is not much like my mother.
“Old Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine. Do you know that one? Might have heard it way back when in a "dime store" time. I am into Tchicovsky/1812 Overature, Queen"s Bohemian Rhapsody, George Winston, a little Tuxedo Junction jazz, Bee Gees, ABBA, Tangerine Dream, America, George Gershwin, and other "Best of" popular music.
I smell food, I have to go, but here is something funny.
Mensa Invitational 2005 winners: Rules, Just change / add one letter of a word.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Foreplay
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject Financially impotent for an indefinite period. Castration
