I don't know. It's just become part of me. But let me point out again that I am making progress. The nature of the guilt has changed as well. I used to feel guilty for having the affair; now I feel guilty for the damage I did to my M. I know it’s a fine line, but there is a difference.
That difference is what has helped me to finally forgive myself. That was over half a marriage ago, and by any way you care to measure it, the second half of the M has been better than the first. So I know that what I did was wrong, and there will probably always be some measure of guilt hiding in me, but in all honesty, I have to admit that the net effect has been good. The A pushed us to resolve the other issues in our M. The A and the recovery made me a better person and a better husband than I was.
