Here's something to consider about my sitch. One of the reasons, I am so sensitive to the OW issue is that several times in my past I was OW. Granted, I was very young and these were not with married men but it still didn't make my actions acceptable in any way. One in particular very much shames me. I wound up having a PA with someone in school who happened to have impregnated another student. This woman was a casual friend of mine. She spent the semester away to get her head together and asked him to do the same. He instead started a PA with me. She found out and asked me to leave him alone. I lied to her and said that I would but continued anyway. Needless to say this woman has not ever forgiven me. And I'm deeply regretful of my actions.
Strange similarities between the person I wronged and OW. Both consider themselves bad a** or punk rock or however you want to term it but they both adhere to a very specific aesthetic and lifestyle. It's strange to me that I only learned just how much I hurt this person by having the same thing done back to me and the fact that my OW is like the other person is just too coincidental.
I wonder how much of my hatred towards OW ties in with my shame of my past? Not that two wrongs make a right. I've found that I have had a very hard time forgiving myself for what I did. Maybe this whole thing with OW is also for me to examine what I did and move on?
