Thank you for your input and your questions. Let me clarify what I meant by talking about OW more. (I tend to write my thoughts very quickly. It doesn't leave room for clarification.) I'm not planning on talking more about OW but rather getting closer to the topic. I'm definitely not planning on incresing the amount of R or OW talk. The progress that my H and I have made is that we can talk about what has happened between us (OW only being one part) in a more honest way. I'm looking to build upon that.
For example, recently after I had said that I still had some fears regarding our R, he became frustrated and said "I don't know what more I need to show you, to convince you that I am serious about committing to our R."
I've been think alot about that lately. My H likes to be acknowledged verbally about his actions of positive change. He thrives on recognition and likes to be told what to do (although he would never admit it). I'm looking to let him know that what he has been doing with his cell phone lately has been a tremendous help to me. And then using that as a very subtle lead-in to let him know that his attempts to be more honest are very apparent and very welcome and help me to be more relaxed.
I can't and won't and have been trying very hard not to make OW a point of focus in our R. Because quite honestly, she is not. Like I have said in past posts, she is a symptom of a larger problem with H and our R. She is ridiculously childish and eventually my H would outgrow anything she has to offer.
I need to detach myself from her. I'm starting to but it's like a bad habit at this point. I see how I use her to justify my anger at my R and my H without having to be angry solely with my H. Dumb mind trick that serves no purpose other than to injure myself.
Anyway, thank you for the question. Believe me I would talk about OW and ALL of my problems with H if I could but I've seen how that really doesn't work in so many ways.
I will jump onto your thread later on and check out your sitch. Boss has been lurking around alot today.
