H and I are still in a good phase. Interesting occurance last night. H asked if anyone at my work dressed up for Halloween. I said yes because there was a party/barbeque. Not many but a few. I asked him if anyone at his work did. He said yes. I asked who? He said a few interns and a couple of employees. Then (with some contempt in his voice) he said "OW dressed up". Very neutrally, I said "Oh really?" He told me what kind of costume she was wearing and that she had been at some party over the weekend. He then went into a mini-rant about how he has a lot of problems with people who refuse to grow up and that wearing costumes to work and staying out until 4 or 5 in the morning isn't appropriate for people who are no longer in their 20s. I didn't say a word and just let him talk. He said that OW asked him why he wasn't wearing a costume and he replied "Because I'm 34 yrs old." Very interesting.
I'm not looking at this as anything more than interesting. I'm not speculating on how this might be affecting their friendship. Let this thing unfold between them on it's own. It doesn't involve me at all! I was just totally surprised that he shared that with me! I think the neutral approach was best. I didn't even use it as an opportunity to rant along with him. There was no need to.
H and I are working on eliminating the assumptions we have towards each other. Convo came up this morning as we walked into work about how I felt that he didn't want to be tied to a decision because he is afraid to commit to things (my assumption). He got defensive (no surprise) and we talked about the what the difference is between what a decision is to him and what is being "tied down" to a specific idea or outcome. Heady talk for the morning, something we have tried to avoid but it was better that we got it cleared up. He was getting worked up and I asked him to take it down a notch. This time I was the calm one.
I'm still working on centering myself and the meditation is helping a lot. I'm just going to keep on this path and continue to eliminate my fears, whether they are related to H or not.
