I have a few moments to post today. Really, in some ways I think you and I are the same people. I'm also bad about saving for a rainy day. Finances are an issue that I am taking into consideration before returning to live with H. I had a very brief convo with my H this weekend about how I need to be able to share that info with him and he do likewise. We have an excellent financial conselor and I fully plan on using her expertise. But right now, finances are not my main issue.
Had a good session with my DB coach last night. This coming off a very relaxed and loving weekend with my H. H says to me that he is very, very happy with where we are in our R. I'm very glad to hear that and in spite of my multiple freakouts last week am using his words to fuel me to work towards the bigger issues.
This week is crazy. I'm feeling it already but I am trying not to let it take over. I am also not trying to think about this wedding that is coming up this weekend where I'm pretty sure OW will be.
I'm realizing so much about myself during all of this! Some of it much harder to face than others. Piglet, I know you can relate but I am beginning to really look behind a lot of my actions and seeing how I have created my life including those that I ahve invited into it!
Something that came up in my session last night was that my coach made the suggestion that if I maintain the attachment of anger to OW, she will be in my life until I let that go. It's not that I have to be friends with her but to accept that she is in my life and at the very least, make peace with that. Actually, I have always realized that a lot of my anger has to do with shame and anger that I feel towards myself. I have acted as OW has in the past and have hurt a couple of people very deeply as a result of my actions. So Karma or you reap what you sow, however you want to look at it is palying a part in all of this and on a good day, I see this as the way that my life has decided to make peace with itself.
