Thanks for stopping by. I just had another lightbulb go off. I realize one of the reasons why H and I are so relaxed when away is because he and I are together all the time and that makes me relaxed because I have him and his attention and focus and there are no distractions, OW, work, etc.. to keep him away or distant. So, when I am relaxed I don't bring up R talks or have R talks in my head (me being quiet and distant). So although this is an unrealistic ideal, it does have elements of what we are striving for at the very least how we would like to feel around each other.
This stage of DBing is very hard. Most of the work is on the LBS and patience is key. I'm confused. I don't know if my DBing is helping to move things forward or keeping them the same.
Piglet, you are right. I do need to set out some goals for myself both longterm and shortterm. I got the KLA tapes as part of signing on for 3 counseling sessions. It came with a workbook which looks like it should be helpful for me to write them down and refer back to when needed.
