Thank you for the advice. My DB coach has given me similar advice. Funny thing is I always forget when the moment arises... Next time, I think I will go to the bathroom and silently scream into a towel.
I wish my H would see OW for the losefest that she is. No such luck. We have to attend a wedding that she is also attending late September. That should be interesting. I actually found the last face-to-face encounter with her to be pretty revealing about where she is mentally, etc. I'm trying to use the wedding also as the stick to get me back into going to the gym on a regular basis. Nothing crazy, just putting some fire under my a**. Also, I will have been meditating all morning at a Zen retreat so that should help with my PMA, I hope.
My H says the same thing about OW. That he spent so much time with her because theor R was easy, whereas as he puts it "nothing about you and I is easy." I see this actually as a good thing.
You are right, my going to H for validation needs to end. I'm working on this separate of my DBing through therapy and attending Al-Anon meetings. I'm finding both to be very helpful but the work itself is hard and pretty painful. It's many, many years of abuse and low self-esteem that I am undoing.
I think I'm going to send my H an email about last night. A more detailed explination of why I acted as I did. My H seems to like that.
