Quote: My H went back and forth for several months. He swore he broke it off, then I would find texts on his phone. He would deny it.
Was it the OW pursueing him or was he pursueing her during these times of trying to break it off? My H is the one pursueing her. He told me he tries to break it off with her, tells her he is choosing his marriage, then he and I have an argument and he goes running back to her. The crappy thing is she is still there waiting for him. I can't tell you exactly how many times this has happened but I know it has been at least 4-5 times. She once told him not to come back until he had divorce papers in his hands, but she still took him back several times after that. I have to say this on here -- she is pathetic!! (I know it's not all about her but I needed to vent that out) But you know what, my H is pathetic too (better to also say that on here and not to him).
Quote: Again, after my H came back to his senses, it was really like he had woken up from a bad dream. The selfish and hurtful A-hole (really, for lack of a better description) that he had become totally disappeared, and the tender, loving, caring and honest man he had been returned. He told me then that he doesn't know what he was thinking, I was always his best friend and the love of his life.
Thank you rottzilla for that ray of hope. My H has been exactly that -- a selfish, hurtful, a-hole. His favorite expression is to say about himself "yes, I am an a$$". Like he's proud of it or something. Anyway, sometimes, I see glimpses of who he used to be. When I see those glimpses of the old H, I feel my love for him grow. It is hard for me to let go and detach when I see him being the man I married. So right now, I'm limiting my contact with him so I can stay detached.
Quote: So, yes, it can take time. Yes, it is hurtful, and yes, it can happen.
It scares me realizing how much time and how much effort this will take. But I know I have to put my whole heart and soul into it and not worry about the outcome.
