Hey Tessa...I'm following you. Here is a little info that was posted on a new post of mine recently. It may give you some insight into what is going on. You may especially like the part about the "slow, and I mean slow, demise of their R" with OW.
Take care.
A couple of hints:
Touch and gos can last upwards of three weeks to a month, the MLCer will appear to be "normal" during this time. My xh and I went on a cruise just a few days before our divorce became final. He was still around for several months after the divorce too.
Before depression hits, you WILL see the MLCer reconnect with his children and original family, all his new friends will be history. As depression and withdrawal become more evident, the MLCer will withdraw from them too, but still contact them, just not as often.
You will see the MLCer distancing himself from the OW, and the slow, and I mean slow demise of their relationship.
You will see a great deal of anger within them during the beginning phases of depression, blaming EVERYTHING on you. As time goes by, their anger towards you begins to subside, as you watch the depression take over them.
Their eyes, skin tone, physical appearance, stance show signs of the depression too, but this time, even they are about to see it.
You will witness your MLCer going through each stage feverously searching for what is wrong with them, for all of a sudden even to them, their life begins to look bleak.
Like I said before, there will be no doubt when they hit depression/withdrawal, unfortunately, it takes a bit of hindsight to see all of the clues.
Here is a little info that was posted on a new post of mine recently. It may give you some insight into what is going on. You may especially like the part about the "slow, and I mean slow, demise of their R" with OW.