My H and I are not at the point of piecing our marriage bac together but I am trying to understand his emotional attachment to the OW. I have some question and thought maybe those of you who have been through it and are further along in your sitchs than I am may have some insight.
Sometimes I fear he will never make a complete break from her. He has been communicating with her for over a year now. He has told me how he feels a strong emotional bond with her. He has told me how he has tried to break off the relationship with her on multiple occassions and has been unsuccessful. He feels that he can open up to her in ways that he cannot open up to anyone else. On several occassions he has called her his "best friend".
To be completly honest all of this hurts me so much more than the short-lived PA that they had. I want to have that emotional closeness with him. I want him to open up to me. At one time I thought him and I were "best friends". At one time I thought we had shared a close emotional bond too. But according to H, he has not felt this closeness with anyone ever before.
So my questions:
1. Has anyone had their WAS successfully break off the EA w/the OP after multiple failed attempts? How long did it take? What finally happened to make their attempt to break it off successful?
2. Is it ever possible for H and I to share the closeness that he feels he shares with her? If, as according to him, we haven't shared the emotional bond during 10 years, will it ever be possible? Sometimes I wonder if maybe she is the right person for him and I am not. Maybe he has been right and I just need to deal with it, let go and find the right person for me. Maybe he can be happier with her than he ever was with me.
Any insights or words of wisdom will be appreciated. It feels as though this EA will go on forever. I really do not want to be dealing with her for the rest of my life w/H.
