H and I have been in a comfortable and peaceful place. It's not passionate, but it's healthy and connected. We discuss when we are going to ML and both of us are following through 100 percent. I don't feel that feeling of control anymore...if I want to change the timing or frequency, he is receptive. At the same time, I am not pushing anything, and we seemed to have settled into a twice a week pattern. I'd like to eventually increase the intimacy and the passion, but for now it's more important to to establish a period of calm and trust. I am tired of the drama and ups and downs. Serenity and peace is the name of the game here. Our home environment feels the same way...we are working remarkably well together to keep the house organized, the kids' schedules and homework demands met, and find time for fun. We're playing tennis as a family and as a couple again consistently. We go out for dinner and something entertaining once a week. Lots of balance here. We light candles and have tea in the morning before the kids get up. H has been handling finance and I am handling food...a big switch for us. I have never been able to take care of the food/dinner stuff, and for the first time these past few months I am doing it...and in such a healthy way. The kids are gravitating to the healthier foods by my just having them out and not pushing it. I sent H off to work with a container of healthy snacks and he is giving me lottsa hugs. This all sounds so mundane, but I feel I am finally able to confront the chaos within, and my H wants the same thing... a peaceful, loving, happy home. Our finances are in order, and I am making plans to go back to school, an environment that I love...for, guess what... a master's in nutrition. I am pretty excited! Not bad for a former wacked out gal!
