Hey IHJ. I haven’t been around much lately, but just wanted to drop in and say that I’m glad to see things are going well with you. I think we are in very similar places. I needed to get off this board and focus on being real, and I’m glad to report that we are doing really well. Some ups and downs do happen, but a lot of the lightbulbs that went off in my head have stayed on, fortunately!
One thing I’ve realized (that I think you have as well) is that there isn’t really a holy grail here. I had originally envisioned some kind of pathway to the perfect marriage, and mistakenly assumed that the struggles to get there need to only happen once. The reality is that it takes a constant effort to love. Love is a choice and not a feeling and all that jazz…
Quote: Now that I am writing this, I believe that my taking a step back from my incessant " want list" gave my H more room to feel comfortable enough in his own skin to move forward.
So true. I’ve discovered this as well. Now that the sex issue is not that loaded anymore, he feels comfortable being himself. We both do, really. Sex has certainly become a lot of fun.
