LFL... My feeling regarding your sitch is along the lines of my last post to you, that you are expecting too much from him as a " real" person. I know the feeling that you want---it's the same feeling that I would get from reading my erotic novels. You have had that feeling with the OM and it must be a very hard thing to give up. I do feel you should assert what you want, but keep in mind that he basically is who he is and the important thing is to establish a healthy connection. Now that I am writing this, I believe that my taking a step back from my incessant " want list" gave my H more room to feel comfortable enough in his own skin to move forward.
