LfL, I'll probably get stomped on for this suggestion, but why not email the OM and tell him you need to break off all contact for a period of time. You name the time... say a year or six months... or three months, if you can't manage six months. Tell him you're working on your marriage and you need to focus on that right now and give it your all.
At least then you won't tense up when you check your email wondering if there will be a message from him. You know this isn't about the OM; you did not see him as a potential long-range partner. It's about the freedom and awakening of your sexuality that he represents. That will always be accessible to you, because it's inside you. Having him there somewhere thinking about you just reminds you that this is so.
There's no rule book to follow here. Do what is workable for you.
