I tried repressing my HD for many years in my M and I ended up feeling depressed, bored, just unhappy with most of life.
The thing is, my H who was LD in most of our M, also got depressed, bored, unfulfilled, etc. We were feeding off of each others unmet needs and that destroyed the marriage for a while.
We are on a much better track now but still so much work to be done. As for fantasies of OM, I just updated my own thread on this subject. OM emailed me again last night and that sent me into a whole obsessive state of fantasizing about the "what ifs." DANGER! DANGER! In my case, thinking/fantasizing about OM is NOT ok for me because of the reality that he is out there and reaching out to me. I need to keep focused on my M, NOT OM.
In terms of overall fantasies, they also can be dangerous. Before our separation, I was fantasizing all the time, similar to Z_Bube, about close friends, coworkers, everybody! I think it made me much more vulnerable to acting in an inappropriate way although it never came to that until after the separation. It;s hard to break out of fantasies though, they do make you feel so good.
