Mrs.NOP... H and I have talked about the interplay of my emotional/sensitive nature with H's attacking/defensive nature when we're faced with hurts...not an easy combination. There's some provoking event, then I will get increasingly temperamental and H will get increasingly hostile and then we're distant again. I am aware that this is the reaction to the action of becoming more intimate, and I hope in time things will get easier. I feel we are so much closer, and I am beginning to trust that we both don't want to lose this. Also, I have noticed that the turn around time from intense reaction to making up is quicker-- we don't want to be in a bad space with each other for long.
I doubt H will completely put a brake on the barbed wire comments, any more than I will suddenly stay calm and collected in the face of stress. It helps to remember that underneath the reaction are two hurting people.
