For the ladies information Re: when you are a puddle of melting emotion does he then feel safe with you and can approach you? does he want to protect you? is he able to feel strong because you seem "weak
This is closest to my first feeling (does he want to protect you?) The answer is most of the times I want to protect her. Along with this feeling is, I don't like to see people in distress. I can imagine how lost or lonely they might feel.
The second feeling I get is how can I make this safe for me and the otherperson. Can I carry the load? If not, what "do" I do? Some people say "just be there with her." I am working on that.
Some people withdraw if they don't have answers. That behavior comes across as uncaring or selfish. Maybe it is in some cases. But in some cases it is more related with not knowing exactly what to do next. Sort of like a "fight, flight or fix" response. Could even be a "tired of trying to fix this" thought too.
I don't remember feeling strong because someone else is weak. I do remember the other person should feel as strong as I am. I guess I miss some of the reasons someone else is feeling weak.
