llp wrote:
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The great irony here is that she actually thought she was showing her love more by the act of service of making you breakfast than by a morning snuggle. Is there any LD or former LD on the board who can explain why she would feel that cooking breakfast was a more loving gesture than cuddling (even with no "sex"). Is it because the cooking is work and effort and the snuggling is easy, so it doesn't count?


Well, it was a mistake by me. But it perfectly displays how your anger and frustration make your super sensitive for the behavior itself, the behavior that's most hurtful. It was a nice gesture. By now, any tlc, even if it is in the form or 'providing service' I welcome with joy. Which makes it all the more sad, as by this unfortunate distrust of motives, the day/moment was utterly spoiled, and what could have been me approving and stimulating affectionate behavior (her way) turned into another painful moment...

llp wrote:
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My bf's first words in the morning are, "Is the coffee ready?" Then he'll sit up on the side of the bed (while I'm lying naked beside him) and pet and baby-talk the dog. I mean, when he wakes up, clearly he has the impulse to greet and express affection. So the dog and I are both lying there-- and he chooses the dog. (I know others of you have this dog thing. I LIKE that he loves the dog-- I just wish I could get some of that action.) Then he's off to the kitchen without even patting me on the hip or anything. It never ceases to be a mystery.

I so so so totally could have written that! With my W it is the cat. He kind of lurches in the bedroom in the morning. What happens most of the time is that she taps the sheets inviting the cat to come up on the bed (which he eagerly does), and then she starts cuddling him with all the standard 'pooh pooh, look at that happy face, look at that furry cute kitten' talk. It leaves me utterly bewildered as obviously she is into affection and cuddling, but only if it concerns cats, not her H? Most damaging is when she then looks at me and says something like 'Isn't he cute?!'

Is there anyone who knows an appropiate answer to the latter question?

Among my response thus far (agreed, not all are 'that' productive or 'smart')
- Yes
- I guess so
- Cuter than me it seems
- I would be if I got nice cuddles each and every morning
- You realize I hate that cat by now, not?
- Should I grow a fur?
- I'll go make coffee