Quote: Hi IHJ You are correct in not dwelling on the past but boy is it hard. I have a very hard time with this. I expect H to act like his usual LD self even though he has been showing a much higher drive lately. I really should be embracing this but my guard is up.
This is so true. At a certain point you'll see evasive behavior in anything.
My W for example would often leap out of bed in the weekends and move to the living room for either watching TV or surfing the web. Evasive behavior to avoid morning time intimacy. If I woke up before she left the bed, and we (kind of) snuggled, she would quickly say something as in 'I'm feeling restless' or 'let's do something today' and jump out of the bed.
Anyway, recently (after we had some good talks on this evasive behavior and how it hurt me, and how we should stop 'playing games'), I was half awake in the morning, and I noticed my wife sneaking out of the bed towards the living room. After like 5 minutes, I became really frustrated and angry, put on my clothes and walked to the living room telling her (in a more or less angry way) how "If you dosn't want me around, then fine! I'm gone for the rest of the day, do whatever you want!"
Turns out she wanted to surprise me with coffee and breakfast, and she was waiting for the coffee to finish.
Needless to say it wasn't the best of days, but it is the kind of paranoia one gets, and it is the main reason why those cames need to stop. It doesn't do one much good if there isn't much trust in each other's motives and everything starts becoming 'suspicious'.
