Oh, and about the "cake and eating it too" thing - remember he is YOUR H. There is nothing wrong with ML to him. And it's all part of the reconnecting in my book. The oxytocin released bonds people together.
I have to say that ML even when I didn't feel like it, and even when I was convinced H was having sex with OW, was hard. It was the one thing I did through my DB experience that was forced and for a specific purpose.
