I can answer that from my perspective - my changes were for real because instead of becoming a different person, I became the person I *had* been before becoming married and a stepmother - etc. I was feeling pretty dowdy there for a little while. I don't know if I really did that many 180s, either. Mostly I GAL and distanced myself, while still remaining loving and supportive of him. I think the thing with my H was being fun and nice, instead of accusing him and making him feel guilty.
