Gibeon, giving an ultimatum does NOT work. When I said I was done and leaving, he begged me to stay, loved me, etc. However, he continued to talk to OW behind my back. In other words, he was afraid of losing me, but only that. It wasn't enough for him to detach from her. Although, it did help us to reattach...
It was the DBing, being nice, etc that helped me. Wait for Zuki's response to this, his side may be more helpful... but I think that being nice to him made him realize what he would be missing without me in his life and also feel more like what he was doing was wrong on many levels.
If I was a witch and mean to him, it only would have served to make him see that I deserved what he was doing. But instead, he saw that I was a good person and started to come around.
Now, with that said, I truly believe in DB principles. BUT it wasn't until I was walking out the door that H snapped and came to his senses. However, it was only a momentary lifting of the clouds and not a permanent change. But it was enough for H to decide to start trying again and to see hope in our future.
