Hi guys, I've been spending a lot of time studying stories on the bb this past couple of days because I feel as if all my DBing efforts these past 8 months have come to nothing. While it certainly improved my outlook on things and how my H and I interact (I see him everyday when he comes over to see the kids) - we're affectionate, ML, get along, etc. but the big picture has steadily gotten worse. At first we were "separated" but in the same bed, then he moved to the couch, then he moved out for 2 months, which became 4 months, which became a one-year lease, and now he says he definitely wants a D. He is deep in MLC (we're both 39) and is spending his time with 20-year-olds. Don't know if he's having an affair right now, but he openly says he wants to date other women.
So, my reason for hijacking your thread is because yours is yet another story I've noticed where nothing seemed to happen until the LBS said "that's it!" and cut off ties. It almost seems to me that just going along being the nice guy doesn't actually work - that the WAS needs to dramatically see the reality of what they're doing.
Any thoughts on this? My H and I get along fairly well as friends right now and have two small children to worry about, so rocking the boat is scary. But I will rock the hell out of it, if that's what's going to work.
By the way, a couple of months ago I found text messages between my H and a 20-year-old bartender. I freaked on him and told him I was done. He begged me to stay, that he loved me, that he was thinking of moving back home, that she meant nothing, etc. etc. Of course, that lasted a couple of days and he was back to not being committed to the M. But maybe I've done too good of a job making him feel comfortable with this whole sitch.
Any advice from the pros is most welcome!! Gibeon (P.S. I have a bunch of threads spanning the past 7 months over on Newcomers, for anyone wanting a novel to read. )
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