Quote: ...MY H says the same thing, I wasnt getting anything out of the R with OW... H says he was hoping it would all fade away, but during that time he was still misleading her... I still have hard time beleiving that and having a difficult time waiting to be sure its over... I dont want to end this marriage but not sure I have patience any longer... I feel so betrayed.
{{{KMFLA}}} I could have written the above. It's funny how things cycle on this board, huh? Hang in there. How long has it been? I figure I will give it as long as it took for me to heal last time - a year - and if I still feel this way, I will leave. I think I deserve to give MYSELF that courtesy. Nothing I do right now is for H. Right now, all I can think about is that *I* don't want to hurt anymore and *I* don't want to extend my misery. If I leave now, will I regret it? I don't know. I am young, fairly pretty, smart... I know I could find someone else. The point is, is that what I want? I don't know. And until I do, I will not be making any major decisions.
Just like you don't let a friend drive drunk, and you don't allow a child to make life or health decisions, I don't feel as if I am in any frame of mind right now to be making such serious, life altering decisions. Instead, I will wait until the hurricane passes and see what has been left. If I am still in shambles, then I will leave, while I still have a chance to start a life and have a family with someone else.
Sometimes, when you are hurting, it's not the patience that wears thin, but the "love tanks" that are empty. Perhaps you can attempt to fill them yourself. Draw yourself a bath, go out with friends, take up a new hobby? Maybe a little pampering will renew you and give you the energy to continue.
