Quote: I wonder if his feelings last year of being "in love" with her were simply his way of easing his guilt. After all, his behavior - if not validated by love - is despicable. But, if it was "true love," perhaps he felt he could better live with himself. He could claim to have been swept away by his soul mate and that there was nothing he could have done to stop it.
Zilla, I think you may be right on this one, at least to a certain extent. I know my H is in the pits right now, because although he won't admit it, his actions toward me go against everything he holds true about what a man should be and do. But in our society, if you leave your wife but say "Oh, we couldn't help it, our love was just so strong..." there are some who will nod their heads, and say, well, OK, you can't fight love. I too, think that is BS, but it's glorified all around us - TV, movies, it's just part of our culture now, unfortunately.
You two hang in there....it's a rough road you are on, but will lead to the biggest reward in the end. Something that sticks with me is that I picture my life 5 yrs from now. Since this D, my quality of life will NEVER be what it could have been had my M been saved. I may fall in love, find a great man, and be happy, but I will NEVER have my family intact again...it will always be me, him, my kids missing their dad, his kids missing their mom. I just think the rewards of saving the marriage would be so much greater than the best you can do once divorced.
