No, that doesn't help at all. I said before that I do not have any urges to have any contact with the OW whatsoever and I meant it. I also said that I wish I could have broken off our relationship myself. Whenever I was in contact with OW, it was like I was on autopilot or something. On this BB, someone who is involved in an EA is percieved to be an "Alien". That's funny because that's what I felt like with the OW. I was not myself. I didn't feel like myself. I didn't like myself. Which is probably why I started drinking like a fish to escape it. I am in control now and plan on staying that way. Yes, I plan on staying that way. I am in control of all my decisions and will do a much better job of making them in the future.
