Zilla here. We came here together both to try to help other people, and also to get help for our problems. I need my LL met - more PT. (which I can understand now why he wouldn't do it - I think at least - that guilt probably kept him from it... as much as because of my weight problem.) He feels I am controlling - which I concede I can be, although I say it is because he is so passive, someone has to take control... but I also realize that I do have to allow him more control. Things we will be working on in the future, IF we get past this.
But, to answer your real question, yes, I had a gut feeling. For some time I did know something was wrong. When he is with her, he drinks more (usually just drinks socially, but when he was having his EA, he would drink nightly - something he did in his first marriage because of his unhappiness) He would mope around, his words slurred (if anyone knows someone who is depressed, it is a sure sign of depression), he was never happy, he withdrew, smiled less, didn't want to go out and do things with his family as much. I knew something was wrong, and I didn't feel it was with me because when he was with me - I mean really with me and present with me physically and emotionally - he was very happy.
The first time around she made him miserable. This time around, he was miserable as well. Like my ex-BF drug addict - he was happy when high but miserable the rest of the time because he didn't like himself and always hurt those he loved. It's the only way I can describe my H's sitch.
