Zuki here, Deb, Yes I felt commited to my wife. During the first time I felt "disconected" from her. We reconnected and healed. After contact resumed, I still felt connected to her and that we had moved on with our lives but I had this secret side of me that I hid from her. The OW's phone calls to me were annoying because our conversations were never conversations. I believe it was the language barrier. But I somehow felt obligated or something to talk to her and perpetuate the lie. At one point OW had even said that she had been admitted to the hospital because she was so distraught over our first break-up. I tell you, when you are involved with an OP, you can't truly see what's going on until you have absolute and complete detachment. I guess I didn't fully detach the last time. I am now. How do I know? My wife asks me "what's different about how you feel this time verses how you felt last time?" All I can tell her is there is DEFINETELY something different but I'm having a hard time discribing it. But just because I haven't found the words yet, doesn't mean it's not there.
